Moved!!!

I have moved because

It's time for a change..so com visit me here

Friends - A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of family or social relations!!!

Yup thats what the dictionary explains it to be...and with that i mind, I;m sure no one can really be regarded as a true friend to me! Maybe its because i'm such a closed book, and rarely tell people whats going on with me, or maybe its just that i don't trust them enough to tell them whats happening with me...

Me being a closed book, i don't know how i can really overcome that situation...I've tried to...but it just seems to be something that refuses to leave me..

Trust - well, not many know whats happened with a friend i trusted....and thats basically the reason why to trust others isn't really my basic quality... for me, it takes time..and even then it doesn't really seem to step in wholly! And sometimes, i do go to the extent of being able to trust someone to some extent, but then that is once again broken...just because they decide to bitch about the element i decided to trust them with, with others....

The people i call my good friends, i can't seem to be able to trust them with everything..some of them know one aspect..while others know another...not everyone knows everything...and even i still need time to try and figure it out myself!
To add to it, there are things that sometimes people expect of some of their friends, maybe a little hi when they see me, maybe a little encouragement when i'm doing something out of the ordinary or challenging..and when i don't get that from them, i really don't feel even tiny bit appreciated, and somehow that does add to the element of trust!

I know many know that i'm a closed book, and therefore judging me based on content that i made available to the whole wide world just doesn't seem to be right, does it? Sometimes, the content maybe just so that some people are misguided on the happenings in my life, and sometimes, its just so that they will stop harping on some other stuff, which i dont even want them to think about!!! So people, before u judge me on something, take a moment to think if "i really would do something like that" before u actually do...

And when u bitch about me, just make sure that there really is no evidence left behind..cos most of the time, it does come to my ears!

U've made my day!

I spoke to one of my best friends ever today, and realized how much i miss talking to her..about nothing and everything...From those deepest secrets to those "utterly nonsensical" gossip sessions...from the guys we all drooled over to the guys we eventually got together with...

I realized how much we've missed out on each other's lives, and how much we had to catch up on...U have to read this to know how lost the both of us are on the happenings with each other

She: So how's X?
Me: Oh he's good...doing extremely well i school
She: How many years has it been now?
Me: Oh, about 1 and a half years
She: Are u crazy? U guys were together for longer than that in school itself...It must be about 4 years now atleast
Me: :S what are u talking abt
(And then it hits me)
Me: OMG, u don't know..u mean u dont even know this..have we lost touch this badly!! I broke up with him a about 1 and a half years ago..after i came to NUS...and this time like seriously!
She: Are u serious? I'm sorry!!!!
She: But finally u did the correct thing..u deserve someone better!

And then the convo lingered on that topic for sometime...but by the time we changed topics, i was feeling really good..and i've never ever felt good talking abt this with anyone before!!

Someother takeaways from our conversation include the following..and she accused me of all of them in the most funniest way possible

I'm stupid - cos i dont express my feelings to the correct person in the correct way

I suck - cos i don't have the guts to even pass hints to "Y" about my feelings

I am useless - cos i have good networking and social skills, and yet i dont put them to use when it comes to the "person" that really matters

I need to be shot in the head - cos i don't seem to be able to prioritize btw the most important things in life...ofcourse right now its school work, but supposedly "the person" should be second on the list!

To my bestest friend, i love u..and i miss u loads and loads...thanks for putting my life in persepctive...and for the sake of ur hours of advice i will try to"give that guy some winks.."

Burnt out

I'm seriously exhausted!!! My small lil brain is facing excessive information overload. My eyes are stressed out from excessive reading. My hands ache from excessive writing and typing. My body aches from the large number of walks up and down the biz library/stairs!!

And my heart aches since i watched the last OTH episode..and also cos i have not Scofield in my life for the past 2 weeks!!!!